I'm free. Thank GOD I finished that third book. It barely happened too, by the way. I almost died. It actually almost killed me to finish that book but I DID IT because I didn't have a choice. I had to. I don't know why I thought I didn't have a choice cause I make my own decisions, g-d dammit but....anyway.
Like any sane human being would, I was hoping the "Freed" part of this third book would be Ana realizing she was married to an abusive asshole and leave but uh, not the case. The book ends with them frolicking in a field together or some shit. That's a literal description of what happens at the end of the book...it's not metaphorical. They are literally running through a field. It's not metaphorical also because I'm not sure E.L. James knows what that is. Guess what, though? She knows what mercurial means. Just ASK her to use it in a sentence! She totally can!
I've been trying to figure out my "favorite" part of this book and I'm going to have to go with the fascinating, totally sensical, important, crucial to the story sub"plot" she decided to stick in this last book. In a vain and misguided attempt to add depth and dimension to this sex trilogy, James concocted a story that Ana's old boss, Jack, was obsessed with Christian because they were in the same foster home as children and Christian got adopted first and Jack was mad at that so...then he became Ana's boss at a publishing house and tried to sexually assault her but then tried to kill Christian and then tried to kidnap Ana and none of that shit worked and then he kidnapped Christian's sister but then Ana saved her and everything was cool except Christian was SUPER PISSED that Ana didn't listen to him the first time. Stupid girl.
Ugh, who even CARES? There is seriously no reason for any of these characters to do, or feel, or or say ANY of the things they do because James is just SO bad at character development, and plot development, and dialogue, and sentence structure, and pacing, and just general writing. So this stupid ass sub plot of trying to create DANGER is SO POORLY DONE and NO ONE cares.
I don't want to repeat my past issues with Ana and Christian's relationship since I've done it enough here and since nothing in this book ever evolves, my issues are still the same issues as last time. Uhhh but I can't help myself. HOW is this man considered ATTRACTIVE TO ANYONE???? He is so hateful and condescending and hypocritical and immature. After Ana told him she was pregnant and he screamed something like "how could you be so f--ing stupid???" he stormed out of the house to get drunk with his ex-girlfreind and not come home until the daylight hours. And ANA was the one that was upset that he was mad at HER!!!! He is the kind of guy who gets super jealous when a server at a dinner says hello to her "suggestively" and tells her to stop being so flirty. And he pulls that kind of crap?
I - we - everyone - has talked at length about how confounding it is that this crappy excuse for a love story has garnered so much money, time, "acclaim" (is that what this even is?) - whatever - and I'll continue to be confounded by it. He's awful, she's awful, their relationship is awful, the writing is awful, I hate it all. Good christ.