Resolutions

I once read somewhere that making goals at the start of the new year leads to more positive change than making resolutions at the start of the new year. So, say you want to get healthier. Rather than making a resolution to lose weight or exercise, make goals like...I'm only going to eat out five times a month instead of 12 or go to the gym twice a week instead of not at all (erm..hypothetically?). Tangible, real plans beget tangible, real results.  It's science! 

One of my resolutions for 2015 is to write more so I've made some goals to help myself get there - blog twice a week, apply for freelancing positions three times a week, continue to read at least one book a month and write one short story that I can submit for publishing somewhere. Reasonable, right? So that's why I'm here, on this website I made myself, tippity typing on this blog. In case you were wondering what I was doing here. What I'm wondering is how did you get here??? Probably I told you to come and am standing over you right now while you read it watching to ensure you make the proper facial expressions at the right passages. 

Some other goals - drink at least one cup of green tea a day, send loved ones cards on their birthdays and anniversaries and refrain from using my phone as a crutch when I'm alone (or with someone else for that matter), bored or waiting. You know, stop using it for filler. I also always think about how I need to hold my legs in the air for 5 minutes a day because a yoga instructor once told me you've got to get the blood flowing the opposite way - not just straight down - so you don't get all swelled up. Is that a real thing?

I began my no-phone policy tonight, actually, waiting in line at Chipotle. It was one of those long, wrap around the restaurant type lines that make you think to yourself is this reallllly worth it (it is) and isn't Qdoba kind of the same thing anyway? (it isn't). I'm just standing there. Like, just standing there alone in line not looking at anything, just....standing silently looking around. And I'll be damned that within no more than two minutes of this grand experiment - one of the twenty-something, just-got-back-from-their-progressive-church-youth-night-meeting-I'm-wearing-a suit-that's-too-big-for-me-and-a-t-shirt-underneath-it-because-I'm-cool guys standing in front of me turns around and says real flirty like "so, is the guacamole worth it?". Have you HEARD a WORSE pick-up line? If you have to ask a girl if the guacamole is worth it, well, son, you're toast before you even get put into that oven.

Anyway, his friend was mortified but this guy will not stop. He's feeling it tonight and really goes for it in the "the only thing we have to tal about is burritos" kind of way. What am I ordering, a bowl or a burrito? BOWL, DUH and he says "I knew it. Girls order bowls and boys order burritos." Sure, ok. Then he starts trying to get real flirty talking about just straight -up rice. "Have you ever had jasmine rice? You should have it the way I make it. Lots of butter." Did I mention this line was loooong? Once we were actually ordering at the counter, I knew the minute I said "sofritas" he was going to have something to say. "SOFRITAS? WHAT IS THAT? YOU DON'T EAT MEAT???? BUT WHY. BACON." People LOVE to just say the word "bacon" to me when I say I don't eat meat, as though it's some magical passcode to unlock the mysterious of the herbivore. I hate to break it to you, baconites, but I wasn't that much into it when I did eat meat. I much prefer sausage on my biscuit (twss).